One of the most challenging things for me personally on this journey is managing my stress. As a medical momma, I have to be on high alert constantly for anything unexpected that could happen. As we move further along in this journey, I am able to let my guard down a little more as Rhett isn’t as high needs as he used to be.
Tonight one of those unexpected incidents happened, and my mind started spiraling. Brooks accidentally pulled out Rhett’s g-tube in the bathtub. When the g-tube comes out, it is very important to get it back in immediately since it can close up quickly. My stress was rising, but I stayed calm. I attempted to get the tube back in, but did not succeed. My stress continues to rise as I’m thinking, “Do we have a spare g-tube?” “What if that one doesn’t go in?” “Would this be worth an ER trip?” “Will they recommend doing surgery to get it back in?” “Will we be exposed to Covid if we go to the emergency room?” Like I said, in stressful situations my mind spirals.
So I paused, took a moment to breathe, asked Dale for help, and got to it. I felt some resistance as I put the tube back in. That’s how quickly they begin to close. It wasn’t even out for 15 minutes, and it was difficult to get back in. But thankfully, I was successful in getting the g-tube back in.
Rhett barely uses his g-tube anymore, but he is still not quite ready to have it permanently removed. He is eating all calories by mouth, and almost meeting his fluid goals. We are still supplementing some fluids through his g-tube in the mornings and evenings. Even though he isn’t quite ready for the tube to go, I’m not ready either. That g-tube gives me a peace of mind. It is a comfort knowing we have access to give him nutrition and fluids if for some reason he won’t take it by mouth. It’s something that helps keep my stress level steady since feeding, nutrition , and growth has been a huge stress for me in this journey.
If you are on a similar journey in life, you are not alone. If unexpected things happen that make your mind spiral, you are not alone. If you struggle with keeping your stress under control, you are not alone. While you may feel isolated and that no one understands what you are going through, you are not alone.
We all face challenges in this life. It is often times very difficult to navigate. If you are facing hard circumstances, let me know. I would love to pray for you.